The Christmas of "Giving"

I decided to title my post the Christmas of "giving", not because our other Christmases aren't giving, but because of something Micah said this morning... She said, "Mom, I'm really excited this year! But not about getting presents, I'm excited about giving them!"

over the last couple of weeks, the kids have been secretly making gifts here and there and there really was a lot of excitement in the air tonight. It wasn't about hoping for a particular gift on a wish list... instead it was about finally letting the other person open what they had made or passed down.

Sam sent the girls on a secret code mission.

They were rewarded with some special chocolate. :)

Annabelle made little ornaments for everyone. :)

I crocheted headbands for the girls and a jumbo hacky sac for Sam :)

From Micah and Annabelle...

Micah crocheted gifts for annabelle and zosie...

A box-cat for Annabelle (it's a little character that Annabelle drew a while back).

and a special angel for zosie....

we all decided it needed to go on the tree!

Micah and annabelle asked daddy for some help with Sam's gift... They designed it and he cut it out of plywood for them and then they painted it!

Annabelle cleaned up her skates and passed them down to zosie. :)

oh and here's a photo of the cards i made for the kids! they were most excited about the family weekend of camping and the spa day!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

My "Crazy" Christmas Idea (Part 2)

So almost a month went by... and i still hadn't clued the kids into my Crazy Christmas Idea.

Let's face it... I just didn't want to hear or see the disappointment in my kids eyes.

So the random conversations of "I know what I want for Christmas" kept coming up, so i knew it was time to rip off the bandaid and dash all the hopes and dreams of my children.

I hope you know I'm being sarcastic... but it still wasn't easy.

So I sat down with my girls (Sam was at a friends house for the day) and went into a short explanation about budgeting... or at least how we've had to tweak the budget for a few reasons. I explained how we didn't have the money to get things for Christmas and without me having to bring it up, Micah mentioned that we didn't really have the room either. I talked about how we still wanted to DO something, so we were going to give experiences or things to DO throughout the year.

here's what I walked away with from that conversation:

1. It was an excellent opportunity to correct or clarify a phrase I say quite often right now, "We don't have the money for it". In the kids eyes this meant we didnt have money for anything and that was causing a little bit of worry. so I clarified that we had plenty of money and we're able to take care of all the important and necessary things like our house and the other house and our vehicles and groceries and giving to missions in India and Ukraine, but that extra things had to wait and be planned out and saved for more than normal.

2. They weren't devastated. As a matter of fact over the next few days, the girls got busy making gifts. Just simple crafts and drawings for each other... but each wrapped with care and love and a heart of giving. Micah decided to crochet a couple gifts.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Annual Review (2015)

I noticed the other day, in talking with a friend, that I had forgotten a handful of "good" things that had happened this year... and of course I can't remember what they were at this particular moment. Either way it was then that i realized it was that time of year again... time to look back at the year, look at the goals and expectations I had for the year and evaluate and process it all.

There's a real value in setting achievable goals and there's even greater value in processing what did and did not pan out.

{If you're interested in seeing where i get this yearly motivation to review life, check out this blog for more info}

So as I look back through my spreadsheet I am quite certain I am ready for a new year. I wouldn't wish this year away by any means, but it's just been very ...unexpected.

What Went Well:
Our T-shirt and Tamale fundraisers for our India trip... and quite frankly just an amazing amount of the Lord's provision along the way! which of course resulted in our first family mission trip. There's no way to sum up in one sentence how impactful this was... we literally talk about India every. single. day. in some form or fashion. and I cannot even begin to explain how much it means to me that my children now understand and share this part of my heart.

I did manage to put together a 20 minute documentary/video journal of our trip and we've been able to share that with close friends and i think that'ss helped our debriefing process.

The kids and I volunteered/participated in an after school program that is held just down the street. We had been looking for a way to connect with people in our immediate community and this has been a good start to getting to know some of the kids.

I've grown more consistent with "whole foods" in our diet. Things that may have seemed more daunting at first, are now more familiar... like making bone broth on a regular basis and making more things from scratch, etc...

As far as the goals and things i had written down, this about covers it for the "well" part.

and of course looking back, i fully understand why other things didn't... things like my homeschooling goals weren't even set because i had determined to focus on the India trip january and february. then, when we got back in april and dealt with an onslaught of things, it pushed my goal setting back. ultimately though, the summer afforded the opportunity to really establish a decent routine... so the fall definitely had more consistency than any other year.

Same thing happened with things like a garden. once we realized i wouldn't be here for major planting season, i just had let that goal go, which was remarkably more difficult than i thought it would be.

Things that did not go well (or as expected)
  
I did expect a great many things following the return of our trip, but much of it flew out the window within a matter of weeks.

I did not expect to carry the load of worship team responsibilities for a span of 4 months. 4 months sound too short as I type it out because it felt like years. This brought an amazing amount of stress to my life, to the point that I was dealing with anxiety and panic attacks on a regular basis. I was not leading well. But the Lord was good and kind in His provision of a worship pastor for our church.

i did not get even remotely close to the amount of planning and work i wanted to accomplish with a certain event for next year. and looking back i'm sad that one of my goals was to send a team to India for the holidays, and that just didnt' even get to the planning stages.

The afterschool program, while a good learning experience for me in patience, respect, submission, staying calm in chaos, seeing past particulars and focusing on heart intentions, has been difficult for a few reasons and I'm still trying to determine how to resolve and respond to it all.

Finally, having to spend a significant amount on dental work, automotive problems, and loosing our renters has made it difficult to meet the needs of others the way I truly desire to do so. (and of course with that comes the thought that perhaps i still don't fully understand what sacrifice really means).

so I know I've said it already, but yeah... I'm ready for a new year. I've tried to have the perspective that every day is new, and that helps for sure... but i am really really really ready for the newness of the year to come.

I can definitely appreciate how this year will help next year to be even better, and I know there's nothing I can do to change what was, and I know that God was sovereign through it all... I just need to reconcile that in my heart and mind ...and move forward.

so. now I can begin the process of looking ahead... and I'll share that with you soon. Remember, if you want to conduct your own annual review, check out this link for more info.

blog ya later.

Annnual Review (2014)

I was about to start in on my review of 2015 post and found that I had never published my review from last year. 0.o oh well... here it is, and hopefully sometime this week i'll get through this year's review lol.

******

Well I've searched and I can't seem to locate my documents from the last two years. Thankfully I found the same article and an updated template to start work on this years review. (don't know what I'm talking about, Read This Article) Since I can't locate last years to actually review it, I just have to think through a general "what worked and what didn't" without reference to what I had hoped for. :P

What worked in 2014.
- starting the year off in India (priceless)
- implementing more nutrient dense foods in our diet
- buying a smaller house
- teaching at Artlife
- taking the fall semester off from ELO
- a simplified homeschool schedule/format.
- deciding to rent our previous house

What didn't "work". {I hesitate with this category, because i do think that ALL things work together for good... because i learn and grow from it. so i don't see these as failures or even as regrets, just areas that i need to continue to grow in}
- exercise, (but i did loose weight because of our healthier eating)
- didn't sell house, (but we were still able to maintain our normal giving and pay two mortgages for a time)
- waiting too long to apply for kids passports and visas
- too much money spent on vehicle repairs. (ok this is more of a "I didn't LIKE it" category, lol)
- became less consistent with commitments and was overbooked in the fall.

Overall last year was definitely ... um... crazy. crazy but wonderful, hard but spectacular, tight but full, ... it was... crazy.

now it's time to look forward. while i want to be completely surrendered and flexible and open to whatever the Lord has in store, i want to be proactive in pursuing the things He has commanded us too.

So my main focus categories for this year are...

*Global Missions   *Local Missions   *Church Family   *Personal Growth

*Home Life & Sustainability   *Homeschool   *Art Life & Creativity

Each category has a main goal behind why it's being prioritized and then there are smaller, specific goals and tasks needed to achieve those goals.

while I haven't usually consulted the review continually throughout the year like you're "supposed" to, I have found that it helps to get a good idea of where I wanna head for the year.

Because The World Needs More "Finger-Licking Good" Recipes!

Buuuuut I'm terrible at recipes, 'cause I MIGHT measure to start, but then I'll add more of whatever along the way according to the taste.

I mean, that's what the "real" Chefs do right?!? At least that's what I tell myself.

So try to approach this recipe with the idea that it's just a starting place, a point of origin, a foundation if you will... but the personal touches are up to you because we all have different tastes in... well, taste. :)

*Flavor disclaimer*: we don't use products with HFCS, MSG, nitrates, artificial flavors or colors, etc, etc... I am convinced these things are not only terrible for your body, but also affect taste in a really big way. If you eat these ingredients on a consistent basis your taste buds will be more used to a chemical based flavor spectrum. We grab unprocessed, organic, grass fed items as much as is possible and I think that improves the flavor significantly.

My Recipe for Chicken Mole


Mole (The Sauce; pronounced Moh-Leh)

• Measure 1 1/2 Tbsp chili powder,  1 Tbsp ketchup, 1 tsp cumin powder, 1 tsp garlic powder (or 2 tsp minced fresh garlic), 1 tsp paprika, 1 tsp sugar, 1 tsp cinnamon, and 1/2 tsp black pepper into 2 cups of chicken broth. 

• Heat a skillet and saute half a small minced onion in 1 Tbsp of butter (or red palm oil or coconut oil) until translucent.

• Add about 3/4 to 1 cup of creamy peanut butter in the skillet to melt a bit. Then slowly add the "spiced" broth, stirring constantly with a whisk.

• Cover and let sauce simmer on low until thick and bubbly. Stir often to prevent burning.

• Add salt to Taste*. 

• Stir in 1 or 2 Tbsp Sriracha hot sauce for some delightful heat. (or 1-2 tsp of cayenne pepper powder to the broth)

*Taste Disclaimer*: depending on how salty your chicken broth and peanut butter is and what kind of salt you use, will affect the amount you need to add if any, so you'll just have to taste along the way and add a 1/2 tsp at a time until it's to your liking.

and ya know, feel free to alter/increase spices according to your liking!!

Option 1. Chicken WINGS

• Rinse and pat dry 4-5 lbs chicken wings. 
• Spread chicken wings in a single layer over a wire rack in a roasting pan or on a baking sheet (so that it's not sitting on the bottom of the pan, you don't want them in the juices).
• Bake at 400 degrees for 45 minutes, then 450 for five minutes (watch closely) to help the skin crisp up.
• Toss wings in a large bowl with enough mole to coat evenly.  Serve with a small bowl of mole on the side, because basically you'll want to drink the sauce. {my kids do at least.}
• Enough for 2 adults, 1 teenager and 3 kids.

Option 2. (Super Quick and Easy Version)

• If you're in a bind for time, just grab a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from the grocery store deli (but watch out for MSG and other artificial junk in some of the flavorings. I get the "Simple Truth" ones from Kroger. You'll want a mild flavor so that the flavor of the chicken doesn't fight with the flavor of the mole.)
• OR raid your fridge and use left over roasted chicken, or just quickly cook some chicken breast or thighs however you like to cook them (skillet, oven, whatever).
• Cut into bite size pieces or shred the meat.
• Add meat to the simmering Mole for a few minutes to heat through and serve over rice or on buttered/grilled sourdough bread or bolillos (add some sliced avocado and cheese if you like) or eat like tacos in some corn tortillas, heck you can even put it in a lettuce wrap! :)

Go give it a try and let me know how it turns out! :)

Un-Stuff Gift Cards

I dont know what else to call them, and I was really hoping to come up with something super snazzy and catchy... buuuut it's late and really, I should have been asleep a couple hours ago...

oh well.

So here's a sample of the cards I'm making for the kiddo's Christmas gifts this year. I'm hoping to have one for each month. Some gifts will be individual things, like a special date with dad; others will be family gifts that we can all do together.

~MAY~

{we like to picnic on the college campus near our house, 

but maybe this'll push us toward a more exciting location... 

hmm, I should put that on the card, eh?}

~APRIL~

{We were given a used pop-up camper earlier this year, 

let's hope i can get it cleaned out and fixed by spring!!}

~JUNE~

{A family pass to our city pool for the ENTIRE summer is cheaper 

than ONE trip to the nearest water-park miles and miles away. 

It's a no-brainer.}

 ~OCTOBER~

 {I always want to do this and just never make it happen}

Hope that gives you a good idea of how we're trying to un-stuff this holiday season and build more memories throughout the year.

Got any ideas that you would use for an un-stuff gift card?? Let me hear 'em!

That Feeling That You're Missing Out

I think we all get it at one time or another, for one reason or another... that feeling that you're missing out and it isnt' much fun. Sometime's its about something important and meaningful, and other times, not so much.

Today I realized that I didn't have that feeling in one particular area. I didn't feel like I was missing out, which then made me realize that I had felt it before. Quite often as a matter of fact. Sometimes I acted on it and sometimes I didn't.

Let me rewind a bit. We've been on this weird journey of simplifying, which might sound all pretty and fine on digital paper, but when you actually vocalize it to someone else in real life, person to person, it just sounds plain ol' nutso. and then when you try to live it out, sometimes you stop and ask yourself, "does this really make sense? are we crazy?" But we have a purpose behind it, so yes it does make sense. we want to give more. we want to make a habit of telling ourselves no, and saying yes to others.

Sometimes, though I'm not sure where my kids fall. Are they in the "ourselves" category or in the "others" category. They're kinda stuck in the middle... our decisions effect their lives, but obviously we want to give them good things because we love them, but we also want to teach them to live for a greater purpose... we have to find a balance and it isn't always easy. and sometimes the difficulty comes in simply trying to figure out what's a need and what's a luxury. our perception of things can really wreak havoc in this area.

My teenage son (sheesh, that's still hard to fathom) enjoys hanging out with the neighborhood boys and of course I'm thrilled that they'd rather be out riding around than stuck on a video game (don't get me wrong they love their games too, but they love adventuring outdoors as well). Well, my son's bike has been waaay too small for him for a couple years now. Technically, he rides his sisters bike which i guess was technically passed down from him... ok it's all very confusing. four kids and three bikes, but really only one bike works for the older three. i know it's silly. but I'm a little bummed that I can't get a bike for my boy for his birthday in a couple weeks, or for Christmas... or for a while. I feel like he's missing out. i could very easily say he "needs" a bike.

Buuuut, it's been a good lesson in bike sharing, and because we have other options, like scooters and a long board, it certainly doesn't mean he's stuck at home, wasting away. No, he's still out adventuring. and the kids deal with some frustration at times with who gets to ride what, but they work through it. I think ultimately, they remember how 15 of their friends in India share one bike. As a matter of fact, my oldest daughter wants a bike like the one in India, that has room for a person to sit on the back so she can give people rides. so i can just as easily say, he does not need a bike.

whether its in regards to myself or my kids, I am constantly on this roller-coaster ride of wanting and not wanting to want and not wanting and not caring and back to wanting again. And there's nothing wrong with wanting a bike for your kids, cause honestly, i would love to get all the kids at Asha House a bike of their own as well as my own kids.

That brings us to yesterday. Black Friday. The day you save money... we all know that's a load of crap, right?! You buy more than.... ok never mind, dont get me started. my point... some Black Fridays I start to feel like I'm going to miss out on a deal. So i start reaching into the recesses of my mind and start thinking about what i can start looking for to see if i can find a good deal. but Sometimes i dont actually want anything (and certainly dont need anything), but i'll browse to see IF there's anything i MIGHT want. (can you catch where this is going?). this is no bueno.

I sat on my couch in a moment of quiet yesterday, and suddenly realized this was the first time I didn't have that feeling of missing out. and it felt nice to not get pulled into the notion that i need to find a good deal on something. See I may have had the self discipline before not to buy anything on a black friday, but that doesn't mean i didn't want to.

It really is having to break free from an addiction. Ya know, you go through a time where you really want that thing, and you have to battle really really hard against the feeling that you just have to have it. you have to fight to the death. and eventually, sometimes years later, you get to a place where you don't even think about it.

i'll admit, i still wish my son had a bike that fit him. i still wish my daughter could join the tumbling team. i still wish i could send my other daughter to dance class. I still wish i could give my kids lessons with the instrument of their choice. i wish a lot of things sometimes. and mostly i wish very selfishly. even when it's for my kids, it affects how I feel, and how I look to other people.

i think what's hardest is that, honestly, i just want to have my cake and eat it too... i want to give a sizable chunk of our income to people who actually NEED it; i want to be used for a greater purpose. heck, at times i really just want to give it all and be free from things and stuff and more stsuff. seriously. but i also wanna give ALL the things to my kids. I want them to have all the opportunities too. but is that what's best? is that what will change a person's life? is that what will change this world we live in?

the line we walk is so very thin... the line that divides the want and the need. the line that divides give and keep. the line that divides the lust for more and the sacrifice of less. the line that divides "for me" or "for them"?

what are your thoughts... how do you decipher between want and need? between dissatisfaction and contentment? How do you say no to yourself? how do you say yes to others? too often I rationalize my wants. but what i truly DESIRE is to stand firm in my convictions.

anyone else on this struggle bus?