Friday, April 24, 2015

The Aftermath

after a trip you should debrief... ya know talk about it, think about it, pray about it... process it.

that is unless you're coming back from 5 weeks away with your children and you are all trying to recover and process and you  realize you are returning to a head on collision with the reality that was your previous life and responsibilities. in that case you just have small panic attacks throughout the day.

so here are some debriefing questions i'm going to answer (haven't given much thought to these, so what you get is what you get) in and effort to process and share.

1. What was the best thing about being there?
the best part about being there was being there. day in. day out. not rushed. not forced. just living and learning. if i have to pinpoint one moment though, it was during the last week when one of the little ones walked up to me, gave me a hug and said "I love you , auntie".

the other best part was having my children there with me. absolutely. 

2. what was the hardest part for you?
leaving. leaving and knowing it'll be a while before i can return.

the other hardest part was having my children there with me. in previous trips I'm just a visitor. this time is was visitor and mother and whiel i'm used to being mom all day every day, it's tougher in a different place, without your normal resources. when one was sick i stayed upstairs to comfort and mend and wasn't downstairs where i wanted to be. i was pulled in two directions, needing to care for my own, and needing to connect with the others in our limited time there.

3. what did God teach you?
to be thankful. i'm not talking about getting home and i'm thankful i have a hot shower. when my kids were sick and beyond exhausted and i felt helpless, and i couldn't even pray any more... all i could do was give thanks. i literally just started to list off everyone and everything i was thankful for. that gave me the strength to make it through long nights and long days. the sickness didn't instantly disappear, the struggle wasnt any easier. but i knew my God was sitting there with me and my focus was turned to him and not my circumstances. be thankful in the storm as well as the sunlight.

4. what are you going to do about it and when?
i'm going to share my story. my kids are going to share their stories. we're going to keep going back. we're going to bring others with us. we're going to be used however possible. here and there. i'm going to be thankful for the head on collision back to reality. i'm going to keep moving forward.

5. share an answered prayer.
my prayer was to learn more and to show my kids what i love so much about india and the people there. they loved it and they're ready to go back. each day (even when they were sick, tired, nauseous, missing daddy, hot or anxious) they had something good to say. this entire trip was an answer to prayer for provision and opportunity and all Glory goes to God.