In an effort to squelch some assumptions I've noticed floating around in blog-land (you may know the ones I'm talking about, they like putting judgments into the mouths {or minds} of certain "types" of mommies... in this instance, those that choose organic... as if what i buy in the store defines who i am or who they are... and how apparently we're not gracious and we're always judging the non-organic mommies for not being super-human-organic heroes... those ones) i'm going to share some of my thoughts as they happen in real life situations. {this may or may not be a good idea, ha!}
my hope is to persuade you that this mama (who happens to choose organic grocery items), isn't spending her precious time judging those who don't and that i don't choose what our family eats in order to try to look like a better mom. and i don't post things on my blog to add to your list of expectations and duties for yourself ...and hopefully, this will help us all learn that we really aren't always being judged by others (but perhaps... we're allowing the enemy too great a hold in our thought life)
THE SCENARIO:
It's Saturday morning. I wake up and realize I forgot to get "fun brunch" items for the kids to share who had participated in a local show-choir camp. drats. and there's nothing in the house. double drats. and we slept in late. triple drats. so on my way to drop off my daughter, we stop at kroger. i grab some organic bananas, organic strawberries and organic yogurt slurpy things (that are overpriced, because they're in individual slurpy packages, but thankfully marked down a little that day). let me just say, i don't choose organic because i want to shove it in other peoples faces, i choose organic because it's what i always buy (just like i prefer a certain kind of salsa over another, it's just what i get) so we walk into the theater and my daughter takes off with the bag. i at least had the chance to tell her to make sure to eat some of what we brought and that she could pick one other "bread" item from what other people would bring. {now this is the daughter who has cavities, so i'm trying to be pretty strict with her, but not kill ALL her fun ALL the time}. but in all honesty, what i would have preferred was that she not even have the organic yogurt cause it's still pretty loaded with sugar or any bread item at all because we are doing our best to avoid bread because of the cavities}.
THE "ORGANIC" MOM'S THOUGHTS:
As I walked out, a mom walked in with two boxes of donuts. my thought was "oh i hope my daughter can resist all the donuts cause I know I couldn't"
Later when we went to pick up the left over items, I noticed someone else had brought yogurt slurpies and bananas too!! my thought "whew, at least i didn't look like a TOTAL freak for not bringing donuts or muffins". (remember no one even saw me, but still i was concerned about how it looked, sheesh)
and since i didn't have a bag to put my "sticks-out-like-a-sore-thumb" organic items, i went around the outside of where all the people were just so they wouldn't see what i had and think i was trying to show off my organic purchases.
****
THE REVIEW: let me summarize and comment on these events:
1. Did you notice that my thoughts were not focused on trying to decide whether a mother was good or bad at any point in my day? (no one can rightly judge our hearts and motives based on what we carry out of a grocery store or into a kids fun-brunch)
2. I was not defining or labeling or categorizing moms based on whether they were carrying donuts or organic bananas. (we are not defined by things or the choices we make that fall in the areas outside of the core/central moral beliefs. Our definition and identity comes from the Father alone.)
3. I too, like so many moms, wondered what someone was thinking about me, which tells me that everyone is most likely concerning themselves with themselves and so I can probably stop worrying about it altogether. (the enemy wants division among God's people, but we should choose to encourage one another and stand united against the common enemy, not each other.)
4. The things I bought & brought were not to compete or show up other moms, i bought them because its what I buy on a regular basis. (except for the yogurt slurpies, i only get those when they're on sale, either way, it had nothing to do with another mom, it had to do with what i wanted to buy my family. plain and simple.) ;)
of course, i'm not saying that moms NEVER point a finger, or think a mean thought towards anyone else (obviously its happening since its being reported in all these blogs posts), but what I am saying (because i can only speak for myself and not anyone else)... is that this mama don't do dat... and I'm betting that a lot of others don't as well.
How about we give each other the benefit of the doubt and stop assuming that what people think about us is horrible, terrible things (that sounds more like satan's lies trying to destroy and distract). maybe, lets assume that they aren't even thinking about us at all... and yes, i'm writing and reading this myself, i don't need to worry, fret, or fear that people are going to see me as a pretentious hippy snob when they see me carrying organic items... because they're probably just wondering why i eat organic or maybe they're wondering what i think about their donuts. maybe they don't care either way.
wanna know what i think about your donuts? i wanna know if there's a blueberry cake do-nut in the box so i can drool over it and smell it and convince myself its worth cheating over!! where's the milk!
seriously though, we're never going to know what the other person actually thinks unless we actually talk about it, and really, its ok if we never do because i don't base my life decisions and purchases on what other people think or expect. you don't need to either. but the assumptions need to stop and the communication needs to begin.
...and that's what I think about that.
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