Peacocks Everywhere

The story goes...

went to a christmas party.
participated in a white elephant gift exchange.
had the peacock mug stolen from me.
there were many tears.

not really.
ok maybe just a few.

I found out where the mug came from, so a few weeks later I ventured to the wonderful world of TJ Maxx (I always feel like I'm on a fun scavenger hunt when I go there, always sure to find some remarkable little jewel in the middle of the slight chaos). The same exact mug wasn't there any more but what I did find was an entire line of peacock beautiful-ness. Mugs, plates, boxes, journals. I ended up creating a box of goodies for a friend because I could think of no better gift for someone than the stuff of such beauty. Of course nothing will ever really suffice to thank them for caring for our children while my husband and I were both in India over Christmas. but I can try.

anyways, I did snag myself a mug with a beautiful peacock on it.

then maybe a week or two later we decided to stop in again. I think I was contemplating buying a second beautiful mug. I drink a lot of tea. That's my excuse for my mug addiction.

and i found this journal/notebook.

i mean it was just, well, loook at it! (I know. its an illness.) and the paper inside was a beautiful blue. i mean, seriously?!


so it took me days to figure out what in the world i would even put in such a beautiful notebook. i mean, this is NOT a grocery store list kind of notebook. this is special. this is worth keeping around for a long long time.

then i knew there was only one purpose for this beauty.

prayer. it would be my prayer journal. i could envision it all... tears would be shed. there would be special moments, frustrating moments, confusing moments, exciting moments, vulnerable moments... between me and the creator of the universe and they would be recorded on these beautiful blue pages. the needs of others, family and friends who i can't live without, would be written in these pages as i make my feeble attempt to lay them before the throne of God. I would want these pages to be worn because I would have used it so much. i would want to see tear-stained {and maybe even a few tea-stained) pages. and i wouldn't mind a few random scribbles from the kids as well. i don't need a journal to pray, but i want a record. i would want to look back and see the Lord's hand at work through the years.

I've never had a prayer journal.
i dream big don't I?!

obviously it won't all be magical. this ain't disney folks. prayer isn't magic. prayer is dirty. and hard. and challenging. and beautiful all at the same time. (kinda like India) sometimes it's like trudging through the mud {have you ever actually walked through mud, your shoes get left behind, because the mud won't let you go. its rough. and a little scary.}sometimes' it's like resting in a grassy field ona sunny breezy day. i know days will come when i'll "forget" to reach for my beautiful journal. and then days will have passed and i'll have to look for it and will find it sitting under a pile of junk.

so that was a few weeks ago. it's taken me a few weeks to start it {mostly cause I'm an organizer and I like to plan}... mostly because I didn't know where to start. and finally last night I dove in. I started listing names and places and needs. it's not perfectly organized. it's not perfectly written. but it's me. it's what and who i love most on blue pages. and it's a start.